Welcome to my blog; another blog in the world of blogs; I know, how cliche’! My name is Lacy, I am a mother before anything, I love conversation, both useless and beneficial, and I am here to talk about LIFE.
As I welcome you all to my site, I would love to say that I am here to share the most badass cookie recipe, or that I’ve discovered the ultimate trick to hitting the lottery and you’re all going to be rich, but that is far from the truth. I am here because I have endured trauma, I have experienced great loss, and I have suffered physical pain. I am here because too often in times of need or distress we forget to think for ourselves, we lean on others in hopes that their guidance and support will direct us onto a path of positivity. The problem with leaning on others is that we can sometimes get wrapped up in thinking we need them in order to heal; but we don’t. We are all different, we all perceive life differently, and our mindset is self-controlled; influenced, yes, but not controlled. If you want to stay stuck in a rut, then you will, if you want to wake up happy again, then you will. In some instances it doesn’t feel right to wake up and smile, in some loss, you feel guilty for living when they are no longer with us. Our life’s length is not in our hands under the condition we want to live the good life, in our after life. We are given what we can handle, and our job is not to question it, its not even to understand it, but it is for us to face. I am being prepared and strengthened for my ultimate position.
I recently experienced a situation where a group of people were giving the same advice; advice that seemed solid and useful. However, there was one person, an outcast, claiming that the group itself was brainwashed and controlled by an unseen power. I was overcome with a sense of reality, where I understood quality over quantity. You cannot assume that those in greater numbers have the better answer, even when it seems extremely convincing. What comes easy, can be easily replaced, and for me, I don’t want replacement; I want consistency and value.
Currently, I sit in the middle of a divided mess, where communication is severed, understanding is absent, values seem forgotten, and only one thing remains constant; hurt. In no way shape or form am I ready to think that someone else’s hurt is more severe than mine, let alone my children’s; I have zero empathy for those connected to my situation. I have days where I wake up and want to shake the world with destruction, ask GOD why, and then inflict more damage, where I point fingers and cause havoc that’s irreparable. Then I ask myself, for what? The damage is done, it can never be undone, and the aching of this pain will never go away, but I know that it can become manageable, with the right mindset. I cannot allow one’s judgement or decision to cloud my mindset, I cannot allow the actions of others to determine my process of becoming the best version of me. In order to be the woman, I want to be, I have to be good for me. If I am not good for myself, how can I be good for anyone? For every negative thought I have, I could have had ten positive affirmations or five positive ideas to honor those lost. For every negative thought I have, I hurt myself mentally, not to mention physically and again, for what? I cannot say that I will never have another negative thought, but I sure as shit can become less pessimistic and more optimistic and use my grief for good, rather than increased depression. In all of this resentment, I lose track of all the blessings I have to be thankful for, like my healthy children, the unconditional love and support from my family and friends, and another day spent with them.
So, here I am, ready to shed light on a multitude of issues, where relations can be formed, and good vibes are felt. I welcome you to my blog and I am so excited to have you, and I appreciate your support!
